If you only knew what I see when I look at you.

Not just a face,
but lifetimes of memories.

Moments wiped clean from your mind.

Each time you get close enough to remember
what we were
and who you are to me,

everything switches
before we ever get to end the cycle.

Our eternal sunshine.

From all

the self-doubt

to flinching when you hear a shout

The ease of silence

to the fear of violence

The body keeps score

Caught between love

and war

From every encouraging

word

To every word used as a

sword

The body remembers

what you do to it

The way you treat it

The company you keep

around

Every restraint

And impulse

How you fuel

What you consume

How you train

Or recover

How you talk to yourself

Every rumination

And explanation

Every touch or lack there of

The body keeps core